(Disclaimer: I am not now, nor have I ever been a stalker.)
“To Say Something No One Could Possibly Say”
Is it insensitive for me to lean into the image of being an unhinged stalker? Perhaps. I forget some things are not as funny as I think they are.
Since either one or the other, but not both simultaneously, of the quantities can be predicted, they are not simultaneously real. — Albert Einstein
“We take for granted that an event in one part of the world cannot instantly affect what happens far away. This principle, which physicists call locality, was long regarded as a bedrock assumption about the laws of physics. So when Albert Einstein and two colleagues showed in 1935 that quantum…
Am I getting worse, or am I better at getting worse? Something to think about while we’re the same distance away. Always the same distance away.
Robinhood announced some early investors would be selling 9+ million of their shares. Robinhood entered the marketplace as an initial public offering (IPO) only last week. On Tuesday it’s stock price jumped 25%, and on Wednesday another 50%. This was on the heels of reported Reddit activity hyping the price going to 70. Today, on Thursday, a group of venture capitalists want to exchange their shares for money.
A good portion of these VCs…
Has a Ghost Adventure ever began with less fan fare than this one? It’s like there is an axe in the corner that you’re never going to use. Well, might as well grind it I guess. Nothing better to do.
I went out to behind Doris Duke’s old place to jump in the water. A guy I know goes for his anniversary every year. 14 years. So I met him out there.
At first I wasn’t going to jump. I…
Another for the column of “maybe it’s a simulation,” as my buddy John texted me out of the blue. He rented a boat for the afternoon and was taking it to see the folk festival. He wanted me to join.
You may be saying to yourself, “that’s because he saw you’re unhinged online.” Au contraire. You would be wrong. I’m not friends with people like that. If he read what I wrote, he wouldn’t be all delicate about it, I assure you. No one has ever read what I’ve written online. This is an easily provable statement.
In fact a…
Mildred sat in her chair and stared out the window. After struggling to shake off hip surgery, she was confined to a nursing home, the altar for those with old age. The plan was a few weeks of rehab, but now almost a full year later, hope of her ever leaving was lost. Mildred looked out at at the sunset — at a world that was leaving her behind — and she began to cry.
What happened next was… out of the ordinary. The clouds went from rewind, to fast-forward, and then began to swirl. A skyquake rattled more than…
Henry hung up the phone and stared into the wall of his hotel room. His old friend Dean had come through like he promised. Henry now had a place to be, a time to be there, and a message for the man at the door to get him in. He was a proper stalker now. All that was left to do, was wait.
Henry felt his spirit leave his body; felt it watch him like he was wading through waist high water. Thoughts reemerged of the high school prom he never went to, and of the grade school girls that…
Nothing on earth could keep a match lit when compared to the magic of being a child. That is how Marge felt.
On Sundays, Marge’s parents would take her to church. Sunday was also the day they took her to the *big* park, the one she could barely wait all week to return to. It was around the corner from the church, and it was just big enough to remain hidden from people that didn’t know it was there.
She would filthy up some of her finest clothes to say hello to the statues and chase the little squirrels. There…
“Ya mean it Teeth?” Janice asked into the phone. “My own show!?!”
“You betcha little missy!” Dr Teeth said from his office above a Chinese food restaurant.
Dr Teeth was always jovial; effervescently so. Perhaps that was due to the drugs, he wasn’t actually a DDS Dentist. Teeth’s main gig was real-estate with a moonlight in promotions.
“My opening band tonight just cancelled. The headliners are — well, their not very good — but the fans they draw are —well, are violent jerks. You’re on at 9!”
In 1852, American President Millard Fillmore wanted to force the opening of Japanese ports — through the use of gunboat diplomacy if necessary. Commodore Matthew C. Perry was assigned the mission.
[delicate ed-itor’s note: This is Part 4 of a multi-part fiction. Any similarities to actual events are a coincidence. This is a work of fiction]
Dean Horan was a live-wire man. He danced to his own beat, he did so gratuitously, and stuck it on never-ending repeat. Henry met him during his only year of college; when Henry was studding physics, and Dean bragged about speaking Japanese.